Whose Life Are You Living?


Time and again, I find myself drifting away after a few seconds of ‘meeting’ a person.

“On what does he base his confidence? Is it his knowledge of who God created him to be, or a reaction to a deficiency he’s trying to hide?”

“What has influenced her being this kind? A strong determination to love no matter what, or the unending hope of acceptance?”

“Why did he choose to be a doctor? A genuine desire to help people get well, or a response to his father’s unachieved (and now unachievable) dream?”

“When did she give up on a happy marriage? After a few months of being married, or long before she even became a teenager?”


Sometimes, I venture to find out (like when I am conducting a therapy session). At other times, I keep my questions to myself. Why risk embarrassing the object of my analysis with my probing questions?

Many times, we end up living lives designed for us by others.

Sometimes, those who design our lives for us make direct demands of our time, resources, self-esteem, etc.

At other times, and very sad to note, they are faceless. You can’t even point at the person for whom you have given up a vital part of your life.

There’s no one to thank you for your invaluable sacrifice; no one to blame for living sub-optimally.

Hey, God made the highest sacrifice possible – He gave His Son, to die for you. Yet, He doesn’t force you to accept His Son’s investment in your life.

God still gives you the power to choose whether you get the dividends of His investments or not.

So, why do you keep allowing other (faceless) people, cultures or systems to dictate how you live your life?

Can you truly say you are living life ON YOUR OWN TERMS?


Olubunmi Samuel-Adeyemi.

Money Therapist at LIMER Personal Finance (m.me/limerfinance)



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